


Say You Do

by WriterJunkie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, F/F, Fluff and Angst, G!P Kara, Human Kara, Modern Era, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterJunkie/pseuds/WriterJunkie
Summary: Juggling between the expectations of her family reputations and studying at Columbia University, Lena is only then finding out what she truly wants, but she can't seem to shake the need for affection from her ever cruel mother, Lena has to decide if she wants to continue to please her mother or take a chance at what she really wants.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working on It's Gonna Hurt and will have the update on Saturday as planned, but I just had this idea and I just ran with it. It got too big so I had to break it into parts and will be posting the next one next week. Until then hopefully this will be enough for now.

Truthfully, Lena didn’t want to be here. Which was strange. This was her favorite restaurant. She loved it here when she first arrived to New York City. Jack even got her favorite booth. The one on the second floor overlooking the beautiful view of Time Square. He did everything right. Jack was a woman’s dream boy. Husband material too. He everything Lena could ever ask for.

The most unsettling, was feeling this way when she agreed to be on this date to patch things between Jack and her. Lena clung to the stem of her wine cup hoping she would be at ease if she drank enough. She just couldn’t face Jack. He wasn’t because he was judgmental, which he wasn’t, and he was definitely not like her family aside from his wealth. Jack was an honest and goodhearted guy. He deserved the truth. 

“You’ve become distant.” Jack said. 

Lena decided to take a gulp from her wine. He watched her from across the table a look of concern on his face. She knew he would begin to notice their change in the relationship sooner or later. It was becoming more difficult for Lena to put up a front.

“I’ve been busy.” Lena said. 

That wasn’t a lie. He knew. Jack knew all about her classes. Her double major at Columbia University and the demanding classes. He was only a year ahead of Lena. 

“You can tell me anything.” Jack said. “You aren’t alone Lena. I want to help.”

Lena felt her stomach twist. He was such a supportive man. He trusted her. And Lena ruined it. Lena put her head down. 

“I know. You’re right. I’m sorry.” Lena said. “It’s just... Trust doesn’t come easy when you’re a Luthor.” 

That much was true. Lena was always guarded. Lilian was cruel and cold and Lex was manipulative. She learned the hard way how wrong of her it was to trust them. Lex now in jail deemed a psychopath and Lilian better the day she found out Lena was the result of her father’s decade long affair. Lena knew it was best to keep her distance. The looks she would get when people find out who she was made it harder to make friends. Who would want to be friends with a Luthor? Much less date one? How she managed to date Jack was a surprise on its own. Jack’s face softened. He reached over the table to grab her hand. Lena fought every impulse to yank her hand away. The guilt in her stomach curdling. She didn’t deserve him. She didn’t deserve any of this. The candle lit dinner. The romantic one year anniversary surprise last year. She didn’t deserve Jack.

“I know this is difficult being close to someone.” Jack said. “But I love you Lena and I’m here to stay.”

Lena was good at pretending and she was most definitely exceptional at lying. A trait she wishes she didn’t have because Jack deserved better. He didn’t deserve to settle for a Luthor.

“I love you too.” Lena said.

It brought a cheerful grin to his face. All it did was flood Lena’s thoughts with shame. 

***

Lena agreed to take Jack back to her apartment to please him and avoid suspicion. They haven’t been intimate in a week. And it will probably be a month when they can do this again with midterms coming. Lena wasn’t drunk enough than she would like when she was kissing Jack and stumbling backward through her apartment, but it would do for tonight. They tripped over their shoes and giggled a few times before entering her bedroom. Lena allowed him to strip her and touch her while he whispered how much he loved her again. This couldn’t be over quick enough. Lena knew what to say to encourage him and stroke his ego when they jumped into her bed, tossing and turning, tangled in each other. Jack was none the wiser. Maybe Lena was a Luthor after all. 

***

Lena hated when he smoked after. She can’t stand the smell, but Jack was kind enough to smoke on the balcony with the door closed despite it being in the middle of winter. He had on a robe Lena bought him for his birthday last year because she felt bad seeing him shiver every time he went out for a cigarette. She later bought him a space heater too. Lena pretended to sleep while he sat smoking, but knowing she won’t be able to sleep tonight Lena got out of bed and put on her robe. She fixed herself a cup of scotch with ice cubes in it and returned back to her room. Jack was closing the balcony door and Lena cringed picking up the smell of his cigarettes behind him. He smiled at her, dipping down to kiss her.

“I should go.” He said. “I have an early class tomorrow.” 

“You’re sure you don’t want to stay?” Lena said. 

Jack grinned.

“If I stay I’ll never sleep.” He said. 

He kissed Lena’s cheek and collected his clothing throughout the floor of the complex. Lena moved to the kitchen island and opened her phone that she left there when she first entered the apartment. She swirled her scotch in her left hand and read through her emails. Her phone buzzed notifying her of a new text message and she exited from her mailbox. Jack entered the kitchen his button shirt opened but his pants and boots on. He opened the fridge to take out a bottle of Fiji water and left. Lena took a sip from her cup when she opened her text messages. 

Kara

Coming in 5?

Lena glanced up from her phone and watched Jack reappear with his shirt closed and his hair slicked back. He chugged half his bottle of water with a sigh. 

Lena

10

“I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch?” Jack asked, approaching her.

“I have a class at that time. I’ll text you when I’m free?” Lena said. 

Jack nodded and put his hands on her hips. He pulled her to his groin and kissed along her neck. 

“Promise?” He said.

Jack slipped his hand into her robe and caressed her breast and Lena leaned up to kiss him. The scruff of his beard scratching against her cheeks. 

“Promise.” She said.

Jack smiled and gave her one last kiss before heading out. Lena downed the rest of her half empty scotch and hopped into the shower. Ten minutes wouldn’t be enough time for her to clean up everything, but she really needed a shower first. She tried to be quick to make time but when Lena finished and she was wrapped in her towel Kara was seated at the edge of her bed waiting for her. Lena gripped the towel around her collarbone. She gave Kara a spare key a week after meeting again in their first year. Jack was kind enough to not push her about it when he didn’t have his copy, understanding how trust was something not so easily given on her end. But Kara being here completely unplanned did little to ease Lena’s nerves. She attended NYU and that was at least a 26 minute train ride away at best. Kara didn’t greet her. She didn’t smile or move, just sat with her hands on her lap and her face somber. Kara looked over the nightstand and her hands slipped off her lap on to the edge of the bed and clenched the bedsheets. 

“Jack was here.” Kara stated. 

Lena’s jaw clenched. She clasped her hands together in front of her and rubbed her thumb over her knuckles. She didn’t have enough time to clean up. Jack didn’t always remember to throw away the wrappers after sex and the smell of his cigarettes lingered in the apartment too. That would take a day for it to air out.

“Yes.” Lena admitted. 

Kara scoffed. She pushed herself up to her feet and Lena dashed over hoping to stop her from leaving. Kara shook her head, mumbling but it was too low for Lena to hear. The glance of sadness in her eyes made Lena second guess having Kara over here so soon. But she never knew what state Kara was in when they meet up, especially when it is as random as this. When Kara nearly tripped over the rug next to the bed Lena stood in front of her to break her fall. A hand latched on to Lena’s shoulder.

“Kara are you drunk?” Lena said. 

Kara laughed and pushed off of Lena. Her left hand was gripping onto the nightstand to balance herself. 

“Wha-me? No, I… I’m fine.” Kara stuttered. 

Lena knew her long enough to know when Kara was lying and certainly when they were drunk. She hasn’t seen Kara like this since their freshman year in high school during a beach party. Her face flushed red and her smile goofy with her contagious airy laugh. Kara sober was fun and charming, but drunk she was twice as fun if she was in a good mood when she started drinking. 

“You smell like alcohol.” Lena said. 

Kara’s smile washed away and she looked at Lena with teary puppy eyes. Lena stroked a piece of blond hair away from her glasses. 

“I… I was at a frat party.” Kara said. 

Kara gulped and Lena brushed a finger over the flex of Kara’s neck. Kara whimpered. The sorrow in Kara’s face darkening and her breath ragged. Lena didn’t need to know anymore. While clubs or frat parties wasn’t Kara usual Friday night it was something she felt she needed to attend to be supportive. Lena didn’t know why she dated a football player, but it might have been something she stumbled upon out of peer pressure from her friends or to try and feel normal. While they both knew Kara was always going to be out of the ordinary it never bothered Lena, but Kara was a different story. 

“Let’s sit down, come on.” Lena coaxed. 

She would offer Kara a drink, but alcohol was something she needed to stay clear of. She waited for Kara to nod before taking her by the hand and out of the bedroom. Kara was much more calm when she sat down and Lena went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. She set aside another cup for herself. She had a feeling she would need a few drinks for this. 

“Are you hungry?” Lena asked.

Kara had an unlimited appetite. She would burn it off during soccer practice back in high school. Lena was sure she could find a place that delivers late. It was New York City. She had a few 24 hour restaurants she would order from after a long day of studying. 

“No, I’m fine.” Kara said. 

Lena was filling her cup with another round of scotch when Kara’s arm wrapped around her. Kara rested her forehead against her shoulder blade. She pushed Lena’s robe aside and kissed her neck. Lena exhaled feeling Kara untie the knot in her robe. Lena bit her bottom lip to stifle her moans. She gasped when Kara’s slender fingers glided over the wry hair of her center and rubbed against her clit. 

“Kara.” Lena gasped. 

She couldn’t stop herself from sounding husky. A part of her wanted this. She missed the feel of Kara against her, but she came here upset. She needed to deal with that and play the best friend she was, regardless of how this relationship turned out. She could deal with herself having unhealthy coping ways. She couldn’t live with letting Kara have her own. She was a good person. Kara was a kind and happy go lucky woman Lena fell in love with. She couldn’t watch her spiral like this. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kara said. 

Kara turned Lena around and she wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck, kissing her feverishly. It was a month since they last saw each other. Kara couldn’t stop her hands from roaming all over Lena. She pinned Lena into the counter and lifted Lena’s leg around her hips. Lena knew she should be the rational one. Kara was drunk. She was emotional and needy. Lena remembered being like this not to long ago when she visited Kara. But this whole thing was wrong. It was a wrong and a horrible thing to do, sleeping with her childhood best friend and dating Jack. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It was something Lena hated about herself. Kara pushed her robe down her shoulders and Lena shrugged it off, letting it pool around her feet. Kara kicked it aside and dipped down to suck one of Lena’s perked nipples.

“Kara. We… Oh…” Lena muttered. 

Lena worked on the buttons of Kara’s shirt, but found it difficult to focus with Kara’s hands on her. She nipped at Lena’s neck and she moaned before pressing a hand onto her chest. Kara stepped back, out of breath and red faced. 

“No marks.” Lena said. 

Kara’s face steeled over and she nodded. Lena felt bad telling her and while as much as she would want to have bruises or marks they couldn’t risk it. Kara pulled her tucked in shirt out of her pants and tossed it behind her. She took Lena’s hand and raced back to the couch. The only thing on her mind was Lena and the feel of her underneath her. Kara yanked off her pants when she stood above Lena, timid and hesitant. Lena sat up, watching her face shift from unsure to eager. Lena scooted closer, sliding her hand up the curve of Kara’s thigh and over her taut abs. 

“We don’t have to.” Lena said. 

Kara’s jaw flexed. She brushed her bangs from her eyebrows.

“I want to.” Kara stated. 

Kara removed her bra and Lena waited to see her shoulders drop to remove her boyshorts. Lena couldn’t stop staring at the bulge in her underwear, biting her bottom lip. Lena always loved every part of Kara, but growing up different had made dating difficult for her. It didn’t change how Lena viewed her the day Kara told her on her sixteenth birthday. It explained why Kara turned her down the time they made out after drinking too much vodka when Kara’s parents went away for the weekend. Kara shifted her weight and her hands began to clench and unclench at her sides. Lena slide her underwear down her ankles and Kara pushed them away. Kara blushed. 

“I um… Do you -- ”

“Yes.” Lena said. 

Kara moaned feeling Lena’s thumb drag down the tip of her cock. She was glad she remembered to shave. Kara would never get over how Lena looked at her each time they were together like this. The look of awe on her face and desire when Kara was naked. Kara was with a few girls before dating and while some stayed around and eventually ended from lack of interest, Lena would always make Kara feel like she was 17 again. And every time they slept together the butterflies she had when they first slept together came back tenfold. Kara ran her fingers through black locks of hair and pushed it to the right side of Lena’s shoulders. She grabbed Kara’s cock by the shaft and wrapped her lips around the tip. Kara moaned, her hips jerked forward. 

“Oh! I… Ugh, can we...” Kara gasped, pushing Lena back by her shoulders.

Lena nodded and turned over to the nightstand. Kara was glad Lena knew what she needed when she had a difficult time expressing it. Sometimes Kara was too embarrassed to ask for things which was rare when she was with Lena. Lena handed her a condom from the drawer and Kara opened the packet. She moved on to the couch, hovering over Lena when she put it on and gazed into green hungry eyes. Kara was awestruck, staring at her and running a finger down Lena’s jawline and to the mole on the front of her neck. Kara exhaled. 

“Gosh Lena you’re… Wow.” Kara whispered. 

Kara removed her glasses, putting them on the nightstand beside the couch. In contrast to Kara’s physic, Lena was fuller in her hips, her tummy soft which she always didn’t like, but Kara loved her this way. The feel of her curves against her couldn’t be anymore perfect to Kara. Kara dipped down and kissed her, lifting Lena’s leg to curl around her hips and rest on her lower back. Lena’s fingers curled around the back of Kara’s neck. She whimpered, tugging on Kara’s bottom lip.

“Oh Kara, please?” Lena pleaded. 

Kara pushed Lena’s legs apart as far as she could and pushed her hips toward her once she felt the head of her cock touch the slick arousal of her center. Lena yelped when the tip entered her. Kara’s jaw dropped and a look of bliss stretched across her face. 

“Lena.” Kara said. 

Lena latched onto Kara her legs shaking and her back arched. Kara gilded her hand up Lena’s forearm and tangled into her hand. Lena opened her eyes. Kara’s eyes were dark and watery. A flare of sorrow behind them. Lena bit her bottom lip to compose herself. 

“God Lena, I’m…” 

Kara buried her face into Lena’s neck. She could hear her sniffling and felt the drops of tears that smeared against her shoulder and neck. Kara sharply jerked forward, shoving her cock deeper into Lena. She moaned. Lena tried to coax her to lift her head but Kara refused, quickening her hips. The pace of her hips fast and uneven. Kara grew more rough and the speed rapid. This was different. Kara had always been gentle and slow, always checking in on Lena to see if she was okay. Kara pulled back, sniffling and wiping away her tears. Lena placed her hands on to Kara’s cheeks.

“Kara, look at me.” She said. 

Kara faced her. Lena was overtaken with sadness. The look on Kara’s face was heartbreaking. She jerked her head away from Lena and grabbed her by her hips. Lena had little time to protest when she was flipped over, facing down on the couch and Kara behind her. Lena moved her hands on to the armrest of the couch.

“Kara?” 

Lena gasped as Kara grunted behind her, slamming her hips against Lena’s ass in jerky motion. Kara’s hands were on her hips, but the change of position was unusual. Lena preffered she see Kara when they had sex. The entire encounter making this feel raw, primal, less personal but the feel of Kara inside her, rough and detached brought a chill of excitement in Lena. She never felt this turned on. Kara shifted Lena up to her knees with a hand around her neck and Lena turned toward Kara, pulling her down by the back her neck into a kiss. Kara slowed the speed of her hips.

“Lena, god, I… close.” Kara huffed. 

Lena faced her, desperate for more contact and Kara sat down to allow Lena to straddle her lap. Kara kept her hands on her hips and watched Lena whimper as she entered her again down to the hilt. Kara picked up the tempo of her hips. 

“Oh fuck!” Lena cried. 

Kara watched her. Her face covered in sweat, her chest bouncing. Kara wouldn’t get tired of a view more perfect than this. Kara wiped away the sweat from the bridge of her nose.

“Oh, oh god. Lena, I’m gonna-”

Lena felt Kara’s cock pulse inside her and Kara groaned as she came. Her jaw slacked and her face overcome with bliss. Her hips slowed. Kara tepidly opened her eyes, lazily smiling and rubbed Lena’s clit while she kept an even pace with her hips. She watched Lena’s stomach flex and her thighs shake. Kara knew she came best like this and grinned as she heard Lena let out a sharp yelp just before she climaxed. Kara slowed down her thumb as Lena tried to recover and she slumped forward into Kara’s chest. Kara stroked her back for a moment before she pulled out of Lena and kissed her shoulder. The two of them enjoying the warmth of each other and the comforting silence before they broke apart and had to face the consequences of their actions. Lena stirred, groaning and her legs feeling like jello. Kara giggled. 

“That good?” She said. 

Lena rolled to the other side of the couch and sighed. 

“Yes.” She whispered. 

Kara had a smile of pride. She removed the condom and went to the kitchen to toss it out. She went into the fridge to take out another bottle of water and took the one on the counter back to the living room. She handed Lena one and opened the other one for herself. Lena nearly chugged down the whole bottle and put it down on the coffee table with a satisfying sigh. Kara sat next to her with her head down. 

“Are you going to tell me what that was about?” Lena said. 

Kara clutched her water bottle with both hands. Her shoulders bunched up and Kara faced her. 

“What did Mon El do wrong this time?” Lena said.

This wasn’t the first time Kara came to her in frustration or tears. She knew about Mon El. She didn’t know why Kara agreed to date him. To put it bluntly, Mon El was a brat. A rich and privileged boy who never grew up passed his high school years. His parents babied him and gave him everything he wanted. He had no interest in education other than to play football and party. He was the complete opposite of Kara but she liked him. Maybe it was his boyish looks or Kara wanted a chance to properly date because they were never official in high school and aren’t now. Lena didn’t ask. Kara hasn’t done anything with him and they’ve been together for two months. Kara took another drink of her water bottle.

“Mon El has been cheating on me the entire time we were together.” Kara said. 

Lena couldn’t say she didn’t see that coming. Mon El was a jock. It brought attention of all the girls and he was young and cocky. Kara didn’t deserve that but she was far from innocent in that aspect. They’ve been sleeping together since the start of their second semester. 

“Kara,” Lena called, placing a hand on her thigh. 

Kara’s bottom lip trembled. She sniffled and turned to Lena, her eyes wet.

“I know I shouldn’t… I get what we’re doing isn’t right.” Kara rambled. “God, but I thought I could be normal that I could have something but all it’s done is… I can’t stand being like this. Never knowing I could find someone that will like me for me or make me feel… Feel not alone and sad.” 

“You are perfect Kara.” Lena said. “I… I love you just the way you are.”

Kara wiped her tears and Lena softly smiled at her, stroking Kara’s cheek. She waited for Kara’s sniffling and hiccuping to settle down and kissed her. Kara pulled away with a heavy sigh, her shoulders dropping. Lena pulled her closer together and cupped her breast as they kissed again, her tongue entering Kara’s mouth and her left hand gripping around Kara’s semi erect cock. She gently stroked her hand up the shaft and Kara whimpered. She ended the kiss, gulping as Lena looked at her, lustful and coy. 

“Y-You wanna go again?” Kara whispered.

Lena smirked, nodding.

“Mmhm, the bedroom this time.” Lena said. 

Kara moaned. Her dick was already fully erect and twitched in Lena’s hand. It wouldn’t take long for her to come again. She was sensitive from the previous orgasm but she didn’t want to cum prematurely either. At least not by Lena’s hand. Heat flushed into Kara’s cheeks.

“Okay!” She chirped.

Lena chuckled, seeing Kara’s eyes light up with glee. They zipped into the bedroom, fumbling and kissing each other. Kara rolled onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Lena’s hips when she laid on top of Kara. 

“I’ll-I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to be too rough.” Kara said, watching Lena open her nightstand drawer. 

“Don’t apologize. I liked it.” Lena purred, raising a brow.

Kara gulped. Lena shuffled through the contents inside the drawer and frowned. She got up and checked the other drawer.

“What is it?” Kara asked, sitting up with her elbows holding her weight. 

“We used the last condom. Do you have one?” Lena said. 

Kara frowned. She knew she should have brought one but if she did and Mon El saw her he would think she was finally ready to sleep with him and that was something she rather avoid until she was ready to tell him her secret. She was also too drunk when she left the frat house to bring any extras.

“No, I didn’t think I’d come to your place tonight.” Kara said. 

Kara got out of bed. 

“It’s okay I’ll just —”

“Stay.” Lena said.

Kara glanced over her shoulder frozen. Lena strode over to her and gave Kara a brief kiss. 

“I’m on birth control. I started last month.” Lena said.

Kara’s face lit with surprise. They never done it without a condom except their first time in high school. That was an accident. They were drunk silly teenagers then. Lena had a pregnancy scare for a week after and it made Kara feel guilty having to put her through that stress while she tried to hide taking the test from her mother. They promised to never have sex again without a condom since. 

“Are you sure?” Kara asked. “I don’t want you to think that we have to. I’m okay if we don’t have sex.” 

“I want to.” Lena said. 

Kara smiled and jumped into bed. 

“Can you be on top again?” Kara requested. 

Lena hovered over Kara and kissed her.

***

Lena smirked, feeling Kara cum inside her a second time. Kara kissed her shoulder before pulling out and picked up the loofah from the shower shelf as Lena stood under the shower head, relishing the heat of the water ease her aching muscles. The stall was coated in fog but clear enough to see. Kara rubbed the loofah along Lena’s back and circled an arm around Lena’s waist. Her hand slowly moves up Lena’s stomach and pinched her left nipple causing her to moan. Lena turned around and grabbed Kara’s ass. 

“I’m too sore to go again.” Lena said. 

Kara didn’t push it and finished washing Lena. They took their time cleaning each other up in the shower, smiling at each other and kissing. Lena made sure to wash the remains of semen from her thighs and center before they got out. Kara collected pieces of her clothing along the apartment before redressing. 

“You can spend the night.” Lena said. 

Kara stopped buttoning up her shirt. One of them would always leave after this. It made the guilt of their actions stick around less, but Lena looked hopeful to have Kara with her for a change. She wanted to stay but a part of Kara knew she should leave. Jack could come back any minute, Mon El could call, Kara had classes. She had a dozen excuses, many valid but it wasn’t what she wanted. 

“Yeah, okay.” Kara agreed.

She removed her shirt and bra, but kept her boy shorts on and Lena handed her an extra pair of pajamas. 

“I could take the couch.” Kara offered. 

Lena pulled back the blankets to her bed.

“There’s plenty of room here.” She said.

Kara crawled into bed and glanced over to Lena on the far end of the bed. It was big enough for them. This mattress was probably a king sized but Kara wasn’t sure if she should be this close to Lena. It was more intimate which was silly as they just had sex together but this made them feel like a couple. It was new territory. Kara rolled on her side and put the blanket up to her chest.

“Night.” Kara said.

“Good night.”

Kara glanced over her shoulder. Lena was still on her side and Kara took her glasses off and rolled on to her stomach. 

***

Lena didn’t expect to be this down to see the bed next to her empty but she knew Kara would be the first to leave. She liked to wake up early to spare time to head to the gym or run. Lena entered the bathroom to brush her teeth when she heard her door open. She watched in the mirror Kara enter the hallway with two paper bags and a bouquet of flowers. 

“Breakfast?” Kara said. “I uh… I hope you don’t mind?” 

Lena finished washing up and ate her cream cheese bagel with Kara. Kara chowed down half of hers and started working Lena’s coffee maker in desperate need of a caffeine boost for her day. The bouquet of red roses were already set in a vase on kitchen window sill. Kara even got Lena’s mail and the paper. Lena was digging through a brown bag for another napkin when the cream cheese dropped on her fingers while reading over the newspaper’s front page. She pulled out a napkin and unraveled a boxes of Trojan condoms underneath it. 

“Looking for a quickie before you go?” Lena teased.

Kara returned to her bagel and noticed Lena eyeing her discovery. She blushed.

“Oh, that’s just-I used your last one. It was only fair I bought them this time.” Kara said. 

Kara took a bite of her other half of the bagel. Her phone went off and Kara quickly declined the call only for it to ring again. She put it on silent and declined it a second time. 

“Is that Mon El?” Lena said. 

Kara sighed. 

“He hasn’t stopped calling me all morning. I answered on my way for bagels but he’s just giving me excuses.” Kara said. 

“Well, he’s your boyfriend. He’s trying to make things right at least.” Lena said. 

Lena didn’t think so. She knew better than to tell Kara that. He looked like the type to half-ass apologize with a bunch of excuses then guilt trip Kara into taking him back. It made Lena seethe with rage thinking about it. The coffee maker beeped and Kara served them both a cup, knowing to add just three sugars for Lena’s and no cream. 

***

A week has passed since that night. Lena was flooded with studying, note taking, lectures, and long nights at the library. She heard from Kara from time to time through text asking how Lena was doing, but they never set up another meet up. Lena kept her responses short, too focused in her studies to text anything heavy. They didn’t talk about that night either and Lena didn’t ask about Mon El since. The week went smoothly, until Jack asked Lena to come over to his place for a movie date. Lena agreed even though she rather stay in and study. She drove to Jack’s penthouse at eight. Lena had done this before, spend nights with Jack at his place and drink, often times they slept together rather than watched the films. Lena was good at faking interest in the whole thing, but that night she couldn’t push away the feeling of repulsion when Jack kissed and groped her. The alcohol did little to mask it and it only made Jack more handsy. Lena pushed him back.

“I’m not in the mood.” Lena said. 

Jack flattened out the wrinkles of his shirt and stared blankly at the TV in front of them. It was clear he was disappointmented but didn’t say anything. His stiff shoulders and frown were said plenty. He glanced back at Lean a few times then the TV. He knew something was bothering her. Lena took time to figure out but Jack was smart. He was patient and he was attentive, but he never pushed Lena. How could Lena possibly tell him though? That the thought of kissing him made her stomach turn and that when he was inside her she wished it was Kara instead. He wouldn’t understand and Lena couldn’t accept that. Jack was a good man he was the ideal man any woman would want and for a change, someone her mother approved. He was fit to be part of the Luthor family and Kara was just a disappointment to her parents. Lena could bring home Jack. Kara would only bring her shame.

“What are you doing Lena?” Jack asked. “Do you care about this relationship? All I’ve been getting from this is that I’m the only one putting in effort.”

“Because I refuse to sleep with you?” Lena said. 

Jack rubbed a hand down his beard and groaned.

“I’m not stupid and neither are you. You know what I’m talking about besides this. There is a rift between us and whatever it is I need to know what is causing this so we can deal with it together. I’ve been patient enough.” Jack said. 

There was a silence between them. Jack wanting Lena to tell him everything and Lena knowing if she did this would ruin their everything. Jack scoffed.

“Maybe we should take a break.” Jack said. “I can’t… I love you Lena but there is only so much I can deal with.”

Lena glared at him. He had every reason to be doubtful and definitely angry if she told him about Kara. But instead of telling him, Lena got her purse and marched out of the apartment. She chalked their talk up to Jack being drunk but she knew Jack was right. She drove around the city aimlessly a few times and by ten o’clock Lena pulled into the NYU parking lot. She stormed through the dorming halls and knocked on door 48A. Mon El answered the door in a grey t-shirt and boxers. Lena froze.

“Do I know you?” He said, squinting. 

The only times they met Mon El was shit-faced drunk. Lena didn’t think she can remember ever being around Mon El sober. Lena gathered her bearings. If he was here that only meant one thing. She suspected Kara would forgive him. She was a lot more forgiving than Lena and that was one of her charming traits. But with Mon El here that mean she couldn’t spend the night either.

“Uh, um… is Kara here?” She muttered.

“She’s on her way from the library. She forgot to return some books. Wanna come in?” He offered. 

Lena almost gagged seeing him wink at her when he asked. He was such an ass. 

“No, I’ll just come back later.” Lena said.

She spun around and rushed out of the hall. She was too frustrated to notice her surroundings or hear Kara calling her as she made it to the parking lot. She unlocked her car door when Kara grabbed her arm and turned her around. Lena felt a wash of relief leave her. 

“Lena?” Kara said. “Hey, I tried calling you. What’s wro —”

Lena kissed her. It was impulsive and stupid and unexpected but Kara didn’t turn her away. Instead, she pinned Lena to her car and parted, speechless and winded. 

“Are you—” Kara stuttered.

“Get in.” Lena said.

Kara was given no room to argue. 

***

Kara thought they would at least go back to Lena’s place and definitely not in the back seat of Lena’s BMW in her dorm parking lot having sex. The car was spacious enough for Kara to stand with her legs half bent and Lena was laid down across the seats with her legs split apart. Getting caught should have been their concern, but Kara hasn’t seen Lena in a week. She wanted this just as badly as Lena not caring if anyone saw. Kara watched Lena arch off the seat cushions, groaning as she came and her thighs quivering. Kara sighed, leaning against Lena and rested her knees on to the car seats. 

“Lena.” Kara gasped. 

The high of Lena’s orgasm washed away now more aware of Kara’s own release. Lena wrapped her legs around Kara’s hips and pulled her closer. Kara bit her bottom lip to try and hold off her orgasm. 

“Not on the seat.” Lena said. 

Kara crawled up onto the car seat, straddling Lena’s hips. Kara stared at her alarmed and flushed. 

“I’m not… We aren’t using-”

“Do it.” Lena coaxed. 

Kara nodded and kissed Lena before cumming inside her. Lena moaned, stroking Kara’s back as her hips rocked into her, shaky and quick. She felt Kara tense against her. Her stomach flex and the muscles of her back move and stretch below Lena’s hands. Kara stopped, breaking the kiss with a heavy exhale and rested her face against Lena’s chest. Lena brushed her fingers through Kara’s bangs, feeling the sweat in her hair and down to her neck. 

“Oh that was intense.” Kara rasped. 

Lena chuckled. 

“Who knew you’d cum that hard from a little public indecency, huh?” Lena teased. 

Kara laughed. She lifted her head, seeing Lena smirk at her. She raised a brow and Kara blushed examining her surroundings. She sat up putting on her clothing in a rush, realizing that they were still in public. She picked up her phone from the dashboard drawer and noticed the seven text she got from Mon El and the four missed calls. She put her phone back and finished getting dressed. She handed Lena her clothes when she was somewhat decent before putting on her pants and buttoning her shirt. 

“I should get back.” Kara said. 

She shifted to the front seat, allowing Lena to dress alone. Kara took out her phone again apologizing to Mon El and came up with a lie of meeting up with a few classmates on the way back from the library and they wanted to get coffee to catch up. 

“So you’re back with Mon El?” Lena said, slipping on her heels. 

Kara put her phone down on her lap the screen faced down. She looked out the window. 

“Sort of.” Kara said. “He apologized.”

Lena scoffed. Apology wasn’t in his dictionary. She doubted he did anything of that nature.

“And you believe him?” She asked. 

Kara centered her perfectly placed glasses and frowned. 

“Couples fight and make mistakes.” Kara said. 

“And you think that’s a silly mistake?” Lena stated. 

Kara looked into the rear view mirror and glared. Lena zipped up her skirt and tucked her blouse into it. 

“Did you sleep with him?” Lena said. 

Kara glanced back at her. Her face angrier and her hands clenched into fist at her sides. 

“That isn’t any of your business.” Kara said. 

Lena scoffed. Kara had no reason to dodge the question if it wasn’t true. Lena’s stomach twisted with jealousy. She wanted to know, but it wasn’t her right to know. Kara was right for that. It still bothered Lena.

“Are you seriously getting defensive? We just fucked.” Lena said. 

Kara’s jaw clenched. Lena stepped out of the car and moved into the driver seat. Kara’s shoulders were bunched up and her posture stoic. She had a lot of patience and Kara rarely got mad, but Lena was sure if she pushed a little more Kara would blow up.

“Yeah, well you came to me.” Kara sneered. 

Lena shook her head.

“I didn’t see you complaining about it earlier.” Lena hissed. “First I have to deal with Jack and now you?” 

Kara turned around, her face red and her brow furrowed. Lena felt the tension in her neck tighten. The logical thought in the back of her head knew she should let this go before she said something she would regret. She knew how to push Kara’s buttons and in turn she did too. They were best friends. They knew everything about each other.

“Well That sounds like something you should talk to Jack about. Why do you care about my relationship with Mon El all of a sudden?” Kara said. 

The anger inside her snapped like a rubber band and Lena couldn’t stop herself.

“Because Mon El is a horrible boyfriend but for some reason you rather be with him!” Lena said. “And you just forgive him for cheating on you the entire time you’ve been together for two months?!” 

Kara’s face was flushed.

“Yeah well who asked you?!” Kara retorted.

There’s a deafening silence between them. A seething anger and frustration neither of them ever felt before. But underneath the layer rage was a wallow of sadness. They fought before when they were children, but this was much deeper and much more painful type of argument. Kara felt her eyes water. She wasn’t about to let herself cry over this. She wouldn’t let Lena now how much this bothered her. 

“You know what, have a good night Lena.” Kara snipped.

She got out of the car and marched toward her dorm hall. She heard Lena started her BMW behind her and speed out of the parking lot. 

  
  



	2. Part II

Lena was content with locking herself away in the safety of her apartment. She needed the space after her fight with Kara, which was a lot more painful to get over than with Jack. Lena used studying as her excuse to stay inside when her friends invited her to drinks on Friday night. And for a while it worked. The long study hours and intensive note taking kept her mind off of Kara. By the time the midterms ended and Lena was sure she aced them she had nothing to keep her occupied and she started thinking about Kara and their fight again. How it was stupid of her to be upset about Kara and her relationship with Mon El. Lena spent her weekends drinking now watching films she loved as a child. She didn’t answer her phone anymore. Why bother when Kara wasn’t talking to her and Jack wanted nothing to do with her. So when she answered her door, thinking it was her take out, Lena was surprised to see Sam. They talked once in a while but she saw her less than Jack. Lena trusted Sam enough to introduce her to Kara. 

“Sam, what are you doing here?” Lena said.

Sam let herself in and sat at the kitchen island. 

“A little bird told me you broke up with Jack?” Sam said.

Lena sighed, closing the door and entered the kitchen. Of course she would find out one way or another. Everyone on campus knew about Jack one way or another. He had a charming and friendly vibe about him that attracted others to speak with him. He also had a hell of a reputation on his grades in Science Engineering. Naturally, word would spread they were dating and end up to Sam.

“We’re on a break.” Lena said.

Sam rolled her eyes. 

“Please Lena, you don’t answer my text or any of my calls. I’m sure you barely leave your house.” Sam said, heading to the freezer. “And you have a year’s supply of ice cream. You are moping over a break up!”

Lena wrapped her arms around her chest. Sam returned to the island and sat across from her.

“Tell me what’s going on?” Sam said.

Lena couldn’t hide from her. Sam put together Lena and Kara were more than friends two weeks into meeting Kara. She didn’t agree with their affair but Sam couldn’t judge Lena for trying to stay with Jack. She was in the same situation at one point coming to terms with her sexuality. Neither was it Sam’s place to say anything or tell Jack. 

“Okay, how about we go out tonight instead? I know a lounge and bar near here.” Sam suggested. “Come on, it’ll be the two of us, a few drinks, and some lively music. It sounds ten times better than this place right now.” 

“Oh I… I should study.” Lena said.

Sam laughed.

“Oh you’re going, even if I have to drag out you of here..” Sam said. “You’ll thank me later.”

***

It took time for Lena to warm up. But after the first two rounds of drinks Sam was right about needing a change of place. The livilness of the bar was enough for Lena to finally relax.

“Not bad huh?” Sam said, clinking her glass with Lena’s. 

“Alright, yes you’re right. This is what I needed.” Lena said. 

They chat about their majors and classes and how they looked forward to the semester ending and the Christmas holiday that’s approaching. Lena was looking forward to sleeping in but not being home with her mother alone at the manor. She would have to be dragged into some company party or a charity to look good for the papers. When Sam was placing an order for a third round of beer Lena headed to the bathroom. On her way out and through the crowd she caught a glimpse of silk blonde hair and Kara’s cheery laugh. Lena weaved through the tables. She caught Kara mid laugh at the table in the corner sitting with Winn and James. Lena met them a year back at Kara’s birthday party. They knew Kara through NYU and welcomed Lena with opened arms. There was a cluster of cups on their table, most of them empty except for Kara’s but judging by the way she clung to her cup and shifted along the table she was drunk. Kara looked up from her cup and meekly smiled at Lena spotting her a foot away. Winn spun around in Kara’s direction and he jumped off his stool racing to Lena with open arms. 

“Hey! Lena, so good to see you!” He said. “I didn’t know Kara invited you to James’ birthday party. Come, sit with us.” 

Lena joined them and James hugged her before she sat down. 

“I’ll get us some drinks.” Winn said, fumbling in the direction of the bar.

“Winn we don’t-I’m gonna go check on him.” James said, following after him.

Lena shifted on her stool now alone with Kara and feeling her eyes on her. She doubted Sam knew Kara would be here. 

“I didn’t mean to crash the celebration.” Lena said. 

“They were getting too drunk anyway.” Kara said. 

Lena was grateful for the boisterous bar full of music and drunk patrons to fill the silence between them. Lena always knew what to say with Kara and since their fight Lena had fantasize what to say to make amends but she didn’t expect to be this nervous nor this difficult. She had to speak her mind now while there was a chance.

“I’m sorry.” Lena said. “You were right. It wasn’t my place to… I’m sorry.”

Kara knocked back the last of her beer. Lena’s stomach burned with fear. 

“I can’t say that is okay.” Kara said. “I know you mean well. But the way you acted it... I couldn’t stop thinking about it for three weeks. I can’t make sense of things between us anymore. Lena what is this? What are we?”

Lena looked at her, guilt ridden and flustered. They promised to never call it for what it was when it first happened. They both agreed the first time it was a mistake. They were drunk. Primarily because Lena didn’t want to label it and Kara, being the kind hearted natured friend agreed. Lena blamed herself for Kara being so lost. 

“I um…” 

“I know we agreed to not talk about it.” Kara said. “But I need to know Lena. I can’t keep hoping this is— “

“Kara? Hi! Oh it’s so good to see you.”

Sam came over and pulled her into a hug. James returned with Winn and a new round of drinks. Lena was grateful for the interruption. She introduced Sam to Winn and James. She could have this talk with Kara when she was ready. They celebrated, laughed, and drank until last call. Lena and Kara helped everyone get home in taxes before Lena got in her car to drop Kara off. About half way on the ride Kara’s stomach protested in need of food and they stopped at a food truck to get cheese steak sandwiches. Lena hated eating inside her car but she gave Kara an exception and it was too cold tonight to eat outside. 

“You were right about Mon El.” Kara asked.

Lena’s shoulders bunched up. She knew what she wanted to talk about by the tone of her voice. Lena was hoping to have that talk much later. Kara put her sandwich down and wiped her hands with a spare napkin. Lena dabbed a napkin on her mouth.

“Kara, I didn’t come here to have you prove me right.” Lena said. 

Kara leaned back into her seat, glancing out the side window. Lena placed a comforting hand over Kara’s hand. 

“We broke up. Well, I broke up with him.” Kara said. “He wasn’t happy about it.” 

Kara bit her bottom lip and wiped the back of her hand against her cheeks to catch her tears. 

“Anybody would be lucky to have you Kara.” Lena said. 

Kara scoffed and rolled on to her side away from Lena’s view.

“Take me home, please?” Kara whispered. 

Lena put her sandwich in her bag and into the cup holder before starting her car again.

***

“Do you want to come in?” Kara asked.

Lena shoved her hands into her coat pockets and sighed. She didn’t need to make things more complicated. Kara was dealing with a break up and Lena knew she was apart of it for many reasons she didn’t need to make things worse. 

“We don’t have to do anything. I just don’t want to be alone right now.” Kara said. 

Lena’s face softened. 

“Okay.” She agreed. 

Kara let her in and she went through her closet to gather her pajamas. Lena stood at the door for a moment, unsure where to move. The dorm was tiny. Two twin sized beds were to the right of the room and two desk on the other end. Kara changed out of her clothes and Lena turned around on impulse. 

“Do you want to borrow a pair?” Kara asked. 

“Oh no, I’ll be fine.” Lena said. 

Lena took off her coat and heels before joining Kara on her bed. She lay on her back next to Kara and looked over the room.

“Aren’t you worry your roommate will come back?” Lena said. 

“She’s over at her boyfriend’s place.” Kara said. 

Lena stared up at the ceiling and she felt Kara shuffle around on her right a few times. 

“Can I… Is it okay that you hold me?” Kara said. 

Lena scooted over to her and rested her hand over Kara’s stomach. Her right arm moved over Kara’s head and on to her shoulder. Kara latched onto her hand with Lena’s and sighed. Lena looked up at her and Kara smiled. Her eyes sparkled with genuine joy. Lena watched her eyes droop while trying to stay away and look at Lena until she dozed off. Lena smiled, stroking a finger down Kara’s temple. 

***

Kara entered the dorm in a towel when Lena woke up. Kara sheepishly smiled at her before entering her closet in search of fresh clothes. 

“Did you eat?” Kara said. 

“I was going to head out.” Lena said. 

“Oh um, okay.” Kara said.

Kara changed behind her closet door and Lena stayed wondering if she should agree to go out for breakfast with Kara. They haven’t seen each other in three weeks. Lena missed her company. Kara emerged from behind the door fully clothed and approached Lena.

“Eliza called me today.” Kara stated. “She wants me to invite you to our Christmas party. I told her you’d go if that’s okay?” 

Spending her holiday over with the Danvers was the best choice in comparison to being with her mother. She couldn’t tell her mother her and Jack weren’t apart. At least not until she was done with Columbia. 

“Yes, I’d love to come.” Lena answered. 

Kara grinned. 

“Oh she’ll be so excited!” She chimed. “Are you sure you don’t want to get breakfast?” 

“I have a lot of studying to do.” Lena said. 

“Okay, I’ll text you?” Kara asked. 

Kara walked over to her and hugged Lena. They said their goodbyes before Lena left. Lena couldn’t stop smiling on the ride home. 

***

Lilian wasn’t happy to find out Lena would spend her Christmas with Kara, but she had little say in the choice. Lena half-heartedly promised to visit her mother after New Year’s. That would give her plenty of headspace to prepare for the reunion. Once the semester wrapped up Lena and Kara were on a plane ride to Midvale. Eliza waited for them at baggage claim. 

“Oh look at the both of you!” Eliza gushed. 

She hugged Kara and gave Lena a firm hug after. 

“You look good.” Eliza said. “I’m so glad you decided to come over for the holiday. You’re always welcomed Lena.” 

“Thank you Mrs. Danvers.” Lena said. 

“Come on, Alex is waiting in the car.” Eliza ushered. 

***

The welcoming at the Danvers household was as if Lena had never left. Eliza and Jeremiah adored Lena. Alex warmed up to her in their third year of high school, but it was the closest to family Lena ever had. They invited her to everything. Lilian couldn't keep on top of what Lena was doing once Lexa got into trouble, too worried about him. Lena would often have time to come over for dinner on the weekends. It was strange not seeing Jeremiah and the lost had been tough on Lena too when she heard about it. 

“I’m sure you already know where you’re going to be staying.” Eliza said, leading Lena through the second floor halls. 

Eliza opened the door to their guest room and let Lena enter with her suitcase. 

“Alexa and Kara will be sharing their old room.” Eliza said. “Dinner will be ready soon, but take your time unpacking sweety.” 

Eliza left and Alex grunted up the steps with Kara’s suitcase. Her face red and covered in sweat.

“Jesus Kara, what did you put in here?” Alex snapped. 

Kara marched after her with another suitcase and laughed.

“We’re almost there, come on.” She said.

Kara turned to Lena and had a beaming grin on her face. Lena chuckled, watching them enter their room. Lena closed her room door. 

***

Lena missed a home cooked meal. The memories of sitting at the table with the Danvers family brought back fond memories. She ate a little extra not realizing how hungry she was until she sat down. Eliza offered her more but she was much too full to eat anything else. Eliza was the first to leave and head to bed. Alex decided to head out to spend some time with Maggie who had a hotel of her own during her stay. Kara entered the living room and settled on the couch. She flicked through the TV channels. Lena knew she was waiting on her to decide if the two of them were okay again. Lena felt the sexual tension the second after Alex left. Three weeks away was normally how long they would go without sleeping together. Lena clasped her hands together and left the kitchen. But Kara was dealing with her break up she needed space and even more so unsure where either of them stood. 

“I’m gonna head to bed.” Lena said. 

Kara gazed over her shoulder her arm raised with the remote ready to change it. She had a look of disappointment but shook it off. 

“Good night.” She said. 

Lena’s night was a restless one. 

***

Kara and Lena weren’t given any time alone after that. The following day they offered to get the decorates in the garage to set up the house into a Winter Wonderland theme. Alex was on grocery shopping duty to make sure they had enough for their guest. Kara went with Eliza for last minute Christmas shopping. Lena offered to stay behind to set up the decorations. When she finished inside the house and the house porch Alex came home with Maggie and she was able to get the tree set up. By the time Lena went to bed she flopped down face first, exhausted. She laid there for a moment. 

“Lena?” 

She heard the knock behind her door. Lena struggled to sit up. She answered the door and Kara stood bashful in front of her, smiling. 

“I um, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Kara said. “I wanted to see… Is everything alright? I mean you aren’t-we’re okay, right?” 

Kara gulped and rubbed as sweaty palm against the side of her jeans. Lena gripped the door knob. She knew Kara’s intentions. It was something Lena wanted too. Lena stepped aside.

“Come in.” Lena said. 

Lena made sure to lock the door before shutting and facing Kara. She stood in the middle of the room gripping the hem of her shirt and nervous. 

“It’s just-we haven’t been… Intimate and-was it something I said?” Kara said. 

“You just went through a break up.” Lena said. 

Kara glanced down at her feet and sighed. 

“This distance between us is worse than a break up.” Kara admitted. “I-I won’t ask again.”

Lena approached her and pulled Kara into a kiss with her hands around her face. Kara’s shoulders loosened and she leaned forward, relishing the tender touch of Lena’s lips against hers. Kara pulled her Lena closer by her hips and rested her forehead against Lena’s. Lena unbuckled Kara’s belt and tossed it to the floor. Kara’s breath hitched. 

“W-We… Alex and Eliza are sleeping.” Kara whispered. 

Lena raised a brow. 

“We’ll have to be quiet then.” Lena said. 

“The bed creaks.” Kara said. 

Kara blushed as Lena gave her a questioning glance. That would be something she could tell her for another time. Lena grabbed her by her wrist and brought her into the bathroom. Kara locked the door when Lena came at her. The kisses stronger and quicker. Kara bumped back against the door when Lena’s hand slipped into her pants. 

“Oh!” Kara gasped. 

Lena kissed her neck and wrapped her hand around Kara’s cock. Kara gripped onto the doorknob. 

“I-I need to sit down.” Kara whimpered. 

She put the toilet lid down and sat down. Lena dropped to her knees and stripped Kara’s pants off. Kara took off her shirt and leaned back. Lena stroked Kara’s cock a few times before shifting closer. Kara grabbed on to the edge of the bathroom sink with her left hand. Lena yanked off her underwear watching Kara’s erect cock spring up. Kara whimpered. 

“You don’t--oh fuck.” Kara huffed. 

Lena glanced at her with her lips wrapped around the tip and Kara clamped her free hand over her mouth. Lena’s head dipped down an inch before bobbing back up and Kara moaned. Lena swirled her tongue around the tip. Kara put her hand down. 

“Holy shit.” Kara cried. 

Lena hummed feeling Kara twitch against her tongue. Kara tangled her hand into Lena’s hair and exhaled. She doubted she would be able to last long like this. Lena knew all the right tricks to have Kara cum in a matter of seconds. Kara’s hips jerked forward, causing Lena to sink further down. She gagged and released Kara with a frown. 

“Kara!” Lena growled, coughing to catch her breath. 

“Sorry.” Kara muttered. “I-I couldn’t help it.” 

Kara wasn’t exactly small. She was much longer than average, measuring at nine inches in length. She wasn’t too thick, but Lena needed time to warm up if she was going to deepthroat her. Lena still remembered how prideful Kara was when Lena admitted she was much bigger than her past boyfriends. She was definitely going to need to take her time to do this. Now her coughing ceasing, Lena bent down and sucked the head of Kara’s cock. Kara sighed feeling her tongue caress underneath the tip. The doorknob jiggled and Kara jumped, frozen with fear. 

“Kara?” Alex called. 

Kara looked down at Lena who released her and looked back at Kara. Lena glared.

“Get rid of her.” Lena whispered.

Kara gulped. She was counting on this happening. How exactly could she get rid of her? This was a bathroom. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s me. I’m um…” Kara answered. 

“Will you hurry up? I gotta go.” Alex said. 

Lena smirked and stroked her hand down the base of Kara’s cock. She jumped feeling Lena start to jerk her off. Kara’s face flushed completely red. She looked down at Lena. She grinned, keeping eye contact with Kara she licked the tip and Kara jumped knocking the handsoap to the floor. 

“O-Okay! I’m… I’m almost done.” Kara yelped. 

Lena sunk farther down and wrapped thee throat around Kara. She felt Kara’s thighs shaking against her hands. Lena pulled up and went back to stroking her.

“What was that?” Alex said. “Oh my god you aren’t!”

Kara bit her bottom lip as Lena increased the speed of her hand. Kara gasped and covered it with a cough.

“N-No!” 

Alex groaned. 

“Gross Kara. I hope you have the seat up this time and clean up after yourself.” Alex said. “Can you just get yourself a girlfriend already?”

Alex’s footsteps shuffled away from the door and Kara sighed. Lena smirked seeing Kara’s face flushed with embarrassment. She covered her face with her hand and Lena chuckled. Whimpering, Kara thrust into Lena’s hand. Lena matched her speed and Kara put her hand down to brace the sink. 

“Lena.” Kara gasped. “O-Oh.”

Kara but her bottom lip in an attempt to mask her moans. Lena felt her cock pulse in her hand and watched Kara whimper through her orgasm. Her stomach flexing and her thighs shaking. The remains of her semen coated her stomach. 

“I can’t believe… Oh my god.” Kara bemoaned. “You jerk!” 

Lena laughed and helped Kara to her feet. 

“She’ll get over it.” Lena said. 

Lena handed some tissue over to Kara to clean up. Kara grabbed Lena by her shirt and pinned her to the sink.

“You didn’t get a turn.” She said.

They had no reason to leave now that Alexa was back in bed. Kara pulled down her shorts and dropped to her knees. Lena sighed, relishing the sight of Kara below her and hungry to please her. Kara placed one of her legs over her shoulder and licked Lena’s clit. Lena gasped, grabbing onto the sink ledge with one hand and another into Kara’s blonde locks. 

Lena had Kara leave first in case Alex was still up or waiting outside. A minute after Lena was sure she was able to walk she left and returned to her room. 

***

Kara was left to deal with Alex refusing to look at her as they got the party ready for later this afternoon. It was better Alex didn’t know the truth. As it came near to start the party and everyone was done cooking and wrapping gifts to stuff under the tree the guest started to trickle in. Maggie showed up first. Then Vasquez, Jonn, and Magan. Eliza started the Christmas music and Alex handed out the drinks. It would be a long time before midnight came around. Kara took out a box of table top board games insisting they play. Three rounds of drinks later and the room was filled with cheer and laughter. Lena stepped out on the patio in need of fresh air. Kara was already there, glancing out to the ocean and her robe wrapped around her. Lena stood next to her. 

“I’m glad I agreed to come here.” Lena said. 

Kara glanced at her. She swirled her glass of wine in her hand. 

“Mother would have me attend some Christmas gala.” Lena said. 

Kara glanced back to the house where moved through the house as Eliza changed the music to a slower tempo. 

“You rather be here?” Kara said. 

Lena smiled. 

“I know you and your mother don’t get along, but the upscale life fits you.” Kara said. 

Lena chuckled. 

“Sure the money is a plus and a privilege, but I’d pick you and your family any time.” Lena said. 

Kara smiled and put her cup down on the nearest table. She held her hand out to Lena. She took Kara’s hand and let her pull her forward to place her other hand on Lena’s hip. Lena gulped. They began to sway. The pace steady. Lena looked into swirling lovestruck blue eyes. Lena bit her bottom lip, glancing back at the house.

“No one is looking.” Kara said. “Everyone is too drunk to notice us.” 

Lena nervously chuckled. She looked back at Kara.

“This is…”

This had never felt so normal. Dancing together under the starry night and the ocean shore. The blinking lights of the Christmas decorations from inside the house washing over them. 

“I’d pick you always.” Kara whispered. 

Lena’s stomach turned. She knew that look Kara was giving her. It should have scared her. It should have made her turn away, but the only thing she can think of was having Kara look at her for the end of her days. Lena gulped and flinched when she felt her tear glide down her cheek. 

“I-I… I can’t.” Lena stuttered. “This isn’t -- ”

Kara kissed her. Lena melted into her, relaxing and wrapping her arms around Kara’s neck. Kara parted from her and stroked Lena’s cheek. 

“It isn’t fair.” Lena said. 

“Please Lena, don’t ruin it.” Kara pleaded. 

Lena opened her eyes and saw Kara’s sorrowful eyes peering down at her. Lena felt her shoulders drop with guilt. She nodded. Kara kissed her forehead. They went back inside slipping passed everyone and up the stairs. Alex exited the bathroom just as Lena entered her bedroom. 

“We haven’t opened gifts yet.” She said. 

Kara turned around, rubbing the back of her neck.

“I um, Lena isn’t feeling too well. She drank too much. I wanted to check on her.” Kara said. 

Alex looked her over with suspicious eyes. 

“Oh me and you are so going to have a talk.” Alex warned. “I’ll cover for you. Just… I can’t believe I’m saying this, don’t be too loud and use protection. Ugh I can’t even look at you.” 

Alex walked away, shaking her head and groaning. Kara raced into Lena’s room and felt her yank Kara toward her by her shirt. 

“Alex is going to need so much therapy.” Kara said. 

“She has the worse timing.” Lena said. 

They fumbled through Lena’s room stripping in between kissing and touching each other, eager to make it into bed. Kara climbed into bed, tossing the blanket off and pinned Lena down when she got in. She looked Lena over, admiring her soft features and vibrant green eyes. Kara smirked. Her hand glided down Lena’s neck, between her breasts, and over her soft tummy. Lena whimpered as her middle finger rubbed her clit and slipped inside her. Kara kissed along her collarbone and nipped at the side of Lena’s breast before taking a pert nipple into her mouth. Kara pulled her finger out and coated her clit with her arousal before pushing two fingers back into her. 

“Kara.” Lena rasped. 

Kara released her nipped and kissed Lena before pumping her fingers into her at an even pace. Lena lifted her leg and grabbed on to the pillow underneath her. Kara felt her finger slip out, sticky and coated with Lena before sucking on her pointer finger. Lena gripped into Kara’s hips.

“Please?” 

Kara pushed Lena’s legs up and entered Lena’s dripping slit. Kara rocked her hips forward and back. The bed creaked below them. Kara moaned. The sensation of utter blissful filtering through out the room and drowning out the noise of the party below them.

***

Kara was still in bed that morning for a change. Lena rolled on to her side, staring back at Kara with a smile in place. Kara shifted closer and stroked Lena’s hair. She kissed Lena on the forehead and the tip of her nose. 

“Is this okay?” Kara whispered. “I know neither of us stay after but I…” 

Lena nodded. She kissed Kara. The touch of Lena’s hands on her chest soft and timid. Kara exhaled, grabbing Lena by her rear and pressed them together. Kara took her hand and moved it to her breast. She moaned. Lena’s phone went off and she rolled to the other end of the bed to pick it up from the nightstand. Lena laid back into her pillow with a groan. 

“What is it?” Kara asked.

“Mother wants me to come over for dinner.” Lena said. “She insist she shouldn’t have to wait until New Years.”

“Well you don’t have to go.” Kara said. 

Lena got out of bed.

“Mother will be persistent. It’s better I get this over with. I’ll be back early.” Lena said. 

Kara sat up. 

“Okay, well at least have breakfast with everyone and open gifts.” Kara implored. 

“I need to shower first, but I’ll meet you down there okay?” Lena said.

She went back to Kara with a towel in hand and gave her a brief kiss. She wrapped herself up with the towel and left.

***

Lena entered the kitchen and nearly got rammed into by Kara. She left fuming and glaring and completely ignored Lena. Alex stood at the table with a scowl and eyes Lena. Eliza sat at the table clutching her coffee and her head down. 

“Girls please? It’s Christmas Day.” Eliza said.

Lena knew not to interrupt. Alex scoffed.

“Whatever.” She said, leaving the kitchen. 

Eliza got up.

“I’m sorry Lena. They just got into an argument. Would you like me to fix you something to eat?” Eliza said.

“No that’s okay. Thank you.” Lena said. 

She went back upstairs. She thought of checking on Kara but given how quick she ran out of the kitchen she most likely needed her space. Lena went back into her room. When Kara was ready she would come to her. 

  
  



	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just a heads up, angst ahead, but the good news is there is no one more part to this fic.

Lena was skeptical when her mother greeted her with open arms. She wasn’t the kind to show affection to her, but Lena played along to make the visit as smooth as possible. She was hoping to leave just as quickly as she arrived. 

“Lena, I assume all is going well at Columbia ?” Lilian said. 

“Yes mother, of course if you really wanted to know you would hire an investigator, I’m sure.” Lena said. 

“Oh come now, I trust you.” Lilian insisted.

Lilian scoffed and entered the Luthor manor. Lena followed after her, defensive and distant. A server greeted them from the living room. A maid with a cart stood off to the side waiting to serve them. 

“How was it with the Danvers?” Lilian said. 

Lena raised a brow. Why would she care about them? Lilian had no interest in knowing them. She only tolerated Lena spending time with them during high school. She had other priorities to check such as the family company. A server arrived to fill their cups with wine. 

“Ask me what you really want.” Lena said. “No need to beat around the bush.”

Lilian took a drink from her flute. 

“I’ve heard about you and Jack.” Lilian said. “Were you ever going to tell me what happened?” 

Lena scoffed. 

“You hired an investigator didn’t you?” Lena said.

“I called Jack to invite him over for the holiday. I wanted to surprise you.” Lilian corrected. “What are you doing Lena? I send you to one of the most prestigious schools, you find a man like Jack, and you have no interest in him? He has a promising future.”

Lena glared.

“Why do you care about who I date all of a sudden? You paid my boyfriends to end our relationships.” She said.

“All they would do is distract you and you were young with much ahead of you.” Lilian said. “It paid off didn’t it? You got into Columbia after all.” 

Lena couldn’t stand how much her mother insisted she knew what was best for her. When she wasn’t away on business or tending to Lex. The pressure to perform at her peak performance ingrained in her. Yet now in a prestigious school and looking to attend MIT after for a master’s didn’t seem to be enough for her mother. 

“And all you’ve done is control my life, tell me what to do, and what to wear.” Lena hissed. “I’ve done what you asked and yet you’re still not happy.”

“You’re wasting what I’ve given you.” Lilian said. “You spend your time with that Danvers girl instead, what you should be doing is looking after our reputation. You’re a Luthor.”

Lena stood.

“That’s all you cared about isn’t it? Your reputation rather than what I wanted.” Lena said. “I’m done caring about any of that.” 

Lena rushed out of the dining room.

“I’m warning you Lena, stay away from Kara Danvers.” Lilian warned.

Lena stopped outside the dining room and spun around. Lilian glared. Lena felt a chill run down her back. 

“Oh, I know about the two of you and your… Desires. I wonder, does Jack know?” Lilian said. “A woman as bright as you should know better than that. You rather waste away potential with that girl?”

Lena bit her bottom lip, fighting back the urge to cry. She was never this angry that she was on the verge of tears in a long time. Lilian was unbothered to see her this frustrated.

“I suggest you end things with her or I will be having a few words with her myself.” Lilian ordered.

“Don’t you dare, leave her out of this.” Lena said.

Lilian shrugged. 

“I trust you know the right thing to do.” Lilian said. 

Lena scoffed. She should have expected this. The threats and the people she would hire to keep a close eye on Lena awhile away. Lena’s hands clenched. Lilian played on her good nature. Lena wouldn’t ever put Kara at risk. She wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. 

“Good night mother.” Lena said. 

***

Lena stood outside the patio. She needed the space to think, but standing overlooking the ocean did little to calm her nerves. A tangle of fear and anger all directed at her mother and the endless possibilities she could do. Lena knew her mother, well enough that she kept her promises. Which in comparison when it came to Lena she had never fulfilled them or put her first. Lena deeply inhaled, wrapping her arms around her chest to steady herself. She couldn’t stop thinking about her talk. The patio door opened and Kara stepped out.

“There you are. How did dinner go?” Kara asked. 

Lena turned around, her face grave. Kara frowned.

“That bad?” She said.

Lena turned back around. 

“Do you mind if we talk?” Kara said. “I know you caught the tail end of my argument with Alex.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it. That’s between the both of you.” Lena said. 

Kara moved closer to Lena, standing beside a lawn chair. 

“It has to do with you.” Kara stated. “She doesn’t agree with what we’re doing.” 

“I don’t blame her.” Lena said. “I think it’s best we put an end to this.”

Kara gulped. She stood beside Lena, concerned. Lena kept her gaze to the ocean. She couldn’t face Kara if she wanted to do this, but she knew that, trying to make eye contact with her as she stood by her. 

“Lena, what’s wrong?” Kara asked. 

“Did you expect this to carry on?” Lena said. “How could any of this work between us?” 

“We could. I… Can we talk about this? Tell me the truth Lena.” Kara pleaded.

Lena clenched her jaw. She knew this would be difficult and that she wasn’t being fair. Kara deserved the truth, but she couldn’t have her involved with her mother. She couldn’t risk anything happening to her. 

“Do you have any idea what we’re doing? How could you be okay with any of this? Being second best?” Lena said. 

Kara’s bottom lip trembled. Lena heard her sharply inhale, trying to calm herself. Lena looked down at her hands gripping the railing. Her knuckles bone white and shaking. 

“T-That’s not true. I know what I felt last night. I know you felt the same.” Kara muttered. 

Lena swallowed back the sob dying to come out as she listened to Kara become more desperate and full of sorrow. It was her fault. She was doing this to Kara. She shouldn’t be doing this. Everything in Lena screamed to tell Kara the truth to finally for once be true to herself and her feelings, but there were other things at state. 

“Why? What happened at the dinner Lena? Why else would you say this?” Kara demanded. 

Lena remained silent. Kara’s hands quaked with anger. She grabbed on to Lena’s hand.

“Tell me.” She ordered. 

“Kara, stop it.” Lena said. 

She heard Kara sniffle and Lena’s stomach twisted with anguish. This was her fault. This was her doing.

“Look at me.” Kara said. 

Lena refused to move. Kara let out a bitter laugh. 

“God you’re such a coward.” Kara sighed. 

Lena gathered all the strength she could before finally looking to Kara, her face red and filled with tears. The blue of her eyes vibrant and sparkling. Lena nearly lost her composure at the sight of her. 

“We’re better off as friends.” Lena said. 

Kara wiped away her tears, hiccuping while trying to calm herself. 

“I can’t.” Kara whispered. 

“Kara.” Lena coaxed.

Kara shook her head.

“I can’t after having you like this. I-It isn’t… I lo-”

“Don’t.” Lena snapped, her voice shaky. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I can’t lose you as a friend either.” 

“Then I guess we both won’t get what we want.” Kara said, rushing back inside sobbing.

***

Lena took the earliest flight back to New York yesterday morning. It was the least she could do for Kara to have time to accept the end of their friendship and their relationship if it counted as one to begin with. It was clear what happened bothered both of them but they were done talking about it. Lena had to learn to function without her childhood best friend. The best option was to bury herself with her studies. It was easier to deal with than what she felt at this moment, but then Jack showed up a week after her arrival, standing outside her apartment, timid and unsure if he should have come unannounced. He waved when Lena approached him. Jack was the last thing she needed to add to her turmoil.

“Can we talk?” Jack said. 

She let him in and offered him a drink. She made them both a scotch and joined Jack in the living room. It was part of her new routine after long nights of studying in the library.

“I know this was sudden.” Jack said. “I figured the holiday would give us plenty of space. I just… I missed you.” 

Lena put her cup on the coffee table, untouched. Jack watched her, trying to gauge her facial expression. She couldn’t string him on like this, but Jack was something simple and took care of another of her primal needs. He took her hand in his own and shifted closer to her. The smell of his cologne wafting into Lena’s senses. She cringed feeling her stomach twisting and aching and her throat tighten. 

“I want to make this work. Give us another chance?” Jack pleaded. 

He dipped down to kiss her, but Lena turned away, her stomach churning again. Jack looked alarmed.

“Are you alright?” Jack said. 

“I’m sorry it isn’t you. I feel nauseous all of a sudden.” Lena said. “It’s your cologne. Has it always been this strong?” 

Jack grabbed his shirt and sniffed it. 

“I’ve always used it. You like it.” Jack said. 

“It must have been what I ate earlier. Can we talk about this another time?” Lena said.

She couldn’t focus feeling this nauseous. 

“Yes just call me when we can talk about this again.” Jack said. 

He gave Lena a quick kiss on her temple and let himself out. Lena stumbled into bed exhausted. 

***

The spring semester gradually picked up and so did Lena’s nausea followed by a string of fatigue. She took medicine to curb the feeling when she could but that proved to be less useful the more she used it. When Sam came over for a study day and two cups of coffee and a bagel Lena get out a wretched gag. She waved the cup away with a hand over her nose and Sam looked at her as if she had grown three heads. 

“What is going on with you?” Sam asked. “It’s your usual.”

Lena got herself a cup of water to try and settle her stomach. 

“How long has this been going on?” Sam asked. 

Lena sighed feeling herself feel less sick now with the smell gone.

“five weeks.” She said. 

Sam nearly dropped her cup and stared at Lena wide-eyed and alarmed. 

“Oh my god!” Sam exclaimed. “Oh my god!”

“What?” Lena said. 

“When was your last period?” Sam asked.

Realization slowly crept into Lena and her face started to mimic Sam’s. She scoffed and shook her head. There was no way. 

“What are you-no, there’s no way.” Lena said. 

Sam raised a brow. 

“Lena, I know you’re practically married to your classes but I also know somewhere between them you managed to have a sex life with Jack.” Sam said. 

Lena gulped. 

“It’s a little late.” Lena admitted.

Sam put a hand to her forehead and sighed while shaking her head. She grabbed Lena by her wrist. 

“Lena you can’t be serious! You’re taking a pregnancy test, now.” Sam ordered. “Wait in the bathroom. I’m gonna run to the store.”

Lena crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. This couldn’t be happening. Lena remembered the past times she slept with Kara. The last three months they were together and how each time she couldn’t recall using a condom, but Lena was on birth control. It couldn’t be possible. Sam left while Lena stood on the verge of having a panic attack. How could she tell Kara? And Jack? What if her mother finds out? Lena’s nerves were a mess. She had to avoid fixing herself a cup of scotch because the possibility that she was with child. The thought of that didn’t sit well with Lena. Sam returned with a bag full of pregnancy tests. She knocked on the door, but didn’t hear an answer.

“Okay I bought-Lena?” Sam called. “I’m coming in okay?” 

She entered the bathroom and saw Lena standing frozen in the middle of the bathroom stricken with panic. 

“I-I can’t. Sam I can’t be. This is… What am I gonna do? What about classes a-and I have so much I wanted to do. I…” Lena rambled. 

Sam hugged her. Lena gripped on to her shaking and crying. Sam stroked her hair, trying her best to soothe her. 

“Hey, Hey it's okay. There are plenty of options for you to choose from. You aren’t stuck.” Sam said. “Let’s see first if you are pregnant first, okay?” 

Lena nodded and sniffled. Sam handed her the bag of five pregnancy tests and left to give Lena privacy. Some time after, Lena emerged from the bathroom disheartened. 

“Are you…” Sam trailed off.

Lena nodded. Sam entered the bathroom to look over the test. On the sink counter top was three yes, one no, and one indecipherable. Sam exited the bathroom.

“Okay, that’s… We can go to the doctor to make sure. You should tell Jack, then you both can decide what you want to do.” Sam said. 

Lena shook her head. 

“It isn’t Jack’s.” She said. 

“Oh… Oh wow.” Sam sighed. 

Lena began to weep. Sam pulled her into a comforting embrace.

“It’s okay Lena. There’s no judgment here.” Sam said. “We’ll figure something out.”

***

Sam didn’t ask who the father was but Lena knew she wanted to know, however, that was something Lena couldn’t accept herself. She had to tell Kara, eventually, but she needed to be sure too, knowing store bought test weren’t always accurate. When she got Sam to eventually leave as it was starting to get late Lena called a doctor for an appointment and decided only after the results she would tell Kara. That was something she at least had to do even if things between them didn’t end well. Until then, Lena studied as much as she could but she couldn’t ignore the constant symptoms and during lectures she found her smell sensitivity heightened. Lena’s diet consisted of ginger ale and crackers to beat her almost constant nausea. When her appointment rolled around, Lena was sure she knew her results. She had her doctor visit scheduled on a Friday morning and was told her results would come Monday. Jack stopped by that afternoon and they chatted about casual things until he asked if they could start again. Lena agreed, torn between wanting to tell him the truth and remembering her mother’s warning. Lena let him take her to bed and she was glad for a change he didn’t wear that overbearing cologne. 

***

Lena called the second after Jack left for his classes that Monday morning. He had decided to stay the weekend. Lena dropped the other letters on the counter and tore into the medical lab envelope with shaky fingers. She read through the letter and put it down. She clasped a hand over her mouth. Lena picked up her phone and selected Kara’s name. Kara didn’t take her calls the first three days, but Lena had borrowed time before she can make a decision. Lena was nervous walking through the NYU dorming halls. She hesitated knocking on Kara’s door and took a minute to gain the courage to do it. She heard fumbling behind the door and whispering. The door opened and a woman with messy hair and smudged lipstick exited into the halls and briefly smiled at Lena before leaving. Kara opened the door a bra in hand.

“Imra you forgot your-Lena.” Kara stated, her face stern.She leaned against the door. 

“What are you doing here?” 

The hostility toward her was unsettling, but Lena contained herself. 

“Can we talk?” Lena said. 

Kara glared. Lena clasped her hands together, rubbing a finger over her knuckles to dispel her anxiousness. 

“You said, all you need to back in Midvale.” Kara said. 

Lena sighed. 

“It’s important.” Lena insisted. 

Kara scoffed. 

“I’m sure.” She said. “I have homework to do.” 

Kara went to close the door but Lena pressed a hand against it and wedged her foot between the threshold and door. Kara glared. 

“Please, Kara, you need to hear this.” Lena said. 

Kara’s face softened seeing Lena’s face filled with fear and opened the door for her to pass. 

“You five mintues.” Kara said. 

Lena stood by her desk and waited for Kara to sit on the edge of her bed. Having Kara at her brought another wave of nervousness through her but being in her presence made Lean realize how much she missed being around Kara. 

“Well?” Kara asked. 

Lena licked her lips and nodded. 

“I’m pregnant.” She said. 

Lena watched the color leave Kara’s face and her hands fell limp at her sides. There was a second of silence between them but Lena feels it fill her with panic all over again. Kara’s face was nothing but utter shock. She blinked coming back to the reality of the situation and looked at Lena.

“Is it mine?” Kara asked. 

Lena glared, tears streaking down her cheeks. 

“How dare you.” She hissed. 

“You were with Jack while we had sex too Lena or did you forget?” Kara reasoned. 

“The last four months you were the only one I slept with and during it we almost never used a condom.” Lena said. 

Kara rubbed a hand down her neck, frustrated and feeling the stress of the situation. 

“And you’re still with Jack aren’t you?” Kara said. “That’s why you came to me?” 

“I came to you because you deserve to know.” Lena said. “Considering you were apart of this.” 

Kara chuckled and shook her head. 

“Now what? You’ll go back to him and you think he’ll believe the baby is his?” Kara said. 

“I came to you out of respect. If you want no part of this then fine.” Lena said. 

“And what if I did want a part of it? You’d still go back to Jack wouldn’t you? You didn’t have to come here Lena. You could have stayed with Jack, but you wanted to come to me to what? Rub in my face that what we have is over?” Kara said. “Which you gave me no real explanation for.” 

“I did it to… You wouldn’t understand.” Lena said. 

“Do you really think that little of me? We’ve known each other since we were 15!” Kara spat. “You broke… Forget it Lena, just go.” 

Kara’s eyes began to shine with tears and Lena felt the same build of up sadness fill her. She turned around and left the dorm. 

  



	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's that. I have an idea for a new fic, hopefully this one will be short. I don't know if I can keep up a longer piece, but who knows.

Lena didn’t hear from Kara in a week. She tried to carry through her classes unaffected by their last talk but the more Lena felt the effects of her pregnancy the harder it was to forget. Lena had a baby and it was Kara’s baby. Lena went over her options with her doctor the day she found out. She couldn’t have this baby with Jack. Kara was right about that but even if Lena didn want to play it down like the child was his once the baby was born it would give it all away. Lena cut her studying short today feel the start of a headache hit her. Sam sat on the other end of the couch worried.

“Did you tell Jack yet?” Sam asked.

“I haven’t figured out how to yet.” Lena said. 

She rubbed her fingers over her temples. 

“Do you know what you’re going to do?” Sam said. “It’s been a week since you found out.” 

Lena ran a hand through her hair. Between classes and due dates the addition of this pregnancy was taking its toll on her. 

“Whatever you decide I’m here for you Lena.” Sam said. “I know this is difficult but you don’t have to go through it alone.” 

Lena couldn’t stop her tears from falling. This wasn’t what she had planned for her remaining years in college. Then she had ruined her friendship with Kara in the process and that was what bothered her the most. How she wanted more than anything to be with Kara and have her comfort her instead of Sam and sulking home alone. Sam came over and hugged her. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Sam whispered. 

Lena wiped away her tears and sighed. 

“Can I ask you something?” Sam said, settling beside Lena. “You don’t have to tell me who’s kid it is.”

Lena faced her and nodded.

“If the baby was Jack’s would you want to raise one with him? Like in the future?” Sam said. 

Lena wiped the last of her tears. Sam smiled at her, her face calm and supportive. Lena wished it was that easy to tell others things like this. 

“You can be honest with me.” Sam added.

“No.” Lena said. “I… Jack isn’t…”

“The person you want to be with?” Sam said. “Lena, what are you doing with him?”

Lena gazed down at her feet. How could she tell Sam the truth? While Sam was understanding enough, how would she take it if Lena told her about her feelings for Kara? 

“I-It doesn’t matter I ruined things anyway.” Lena said. 

“With Kara?” Sam said.

Lena’s heart dropped to her stomach. Sam pulled her into a hug. 

“I’m not blind. I see the way she looks at you.” Sam explained. “You need to do the right thing Lena. You’ll be happier that way.” 

Lena rested her head onto Sam’s shoulder. If only the right thing wasn’t so difficult, but happiness was something she thought was a far fetched dream, until she met Kara. 

“I hope you’re right.” Lena whispered. 

***

Lena waited another week to make her decision. Then she was off to the doctor’s office with Sam by her side. She was supportive as much as she could be, but it did nothing to prepare Lena when she was finally called in from the waiting room. The procedure was quick and for the most part painless. The relief was short lived once Lena returned to the waiting room. A flood of guilt settling in her stomach and made her nauseous with grief. Sam hesitated to say anything at first once Lena finished speaking with the front desk nurse. What could she say? 

“How are you feeling?” Sam said. 

She hugged Lena when she didn’t answer and they left. Between the both of them, it was agreed this was the better option. In the car Sam tried what she could to comfort Lena and reason her decision. Lena couldn’t take on attending Columbia and her mother while with a baby. The responsibility of both this young would put Lena’s plans on hold. They spent two hours in Lena’s apartment watching TV shows and movies until the sun set. 

“Take out?” Sam asked, entering the kitchen.

“I’m not very hungry right now.” Lena said. 

Sam joined Lena back on the couch. The TV flickering in front of them. She pulled Lena into a hug. She knew Lena would power through this, but the array of emotions twisting and coiling around her would always be there.

“You made the right decision based on your situation.” Sam said. 

“I know I just… The shock is still there.” Lena said. 

“I can stay the night.” Sam offered.

“No that’s alright. I can manage.” Lena said. 

Sam held her, stroking Lena’s hair in hopes to calm her nerves. They stopped talking about it after that. While Lena showed a tough and strong exterior Sam knew she was quite the opposite and nothing close to a Luthor. When Sam was finally convinced to leave, Lena laid in bed weeping the first half of the night. She was instructed to avoid having sex and that was easy enough for Lena to do for the first three days. Until Jack came as a surprise with a box of chocolates and red roses. 

“You seem excited.” Lena said. 

Jack smiled and pulled out a bottle of red wine from the fridge. 

“I was just given an internship at a tech firm.” Jack said. “I think this calls for a celebration.” 

He served them both a cup before Lena could protest. She entered the kitchen taking the cup Jack offered her. Jack kissed her on the cheek and she turned away when he tried to kiss her a second time. 

“You don’t seem very happy about it.” Jack said, releasing her.

“No, it’s great news, really.” Lena insisted. 

Jack put down their cups. He wasn’t convinced. Lena’s hands clenched. 

“If you’re worried about us being apart that isn’t a problem.” Jack said. 

He paused a moment, contemplating his words. The longer he remained silent the more nervous Lena became. He came here with an intention she was sure of it. Jack sighed. 

“I was going to wait for our four year aniversary but our third one is coming up soon and I just…” Jack said. 

He dug into his suit pocket and pulled out a velvet box. Lena’s throat clenched with panic. He dropped to his knees and Lena sharply inhaled. 

“Lena will-”

“No, stop.” Lena demanded. 

Jack froze. Lena shook her head her throat tightening as she swallowed back a sob. She stepped back.

“I can’t.” She said. 

Jack stood and put the box back in his pocket. He was speechless. Of all the reactions he expected from Lena this look of repulsion and sorrow was far from what he imagined. It left him perplexed. He knew they were rocky during the break, but now together things felt smooth and stable. How he had been wrong this whole time. 

“I can’t marry you.” Lena whispered. 

“Okay, I can wait.” Jack said. 

It did little to soothe Lena. Jack grew more concerned. He approached her but Lena put a hand up stopping him in his tracks. Jack’s calm exterior melted. His face reflecting a whole deal of frustration and sadness. 

“I… We can’t be together.” Lena said. “This wasn’t-I care for you Jack.” 

“But you aren’t in love with me?” Jack asked, watching Lena nod. “Then why did you agree to this?”

Lena bit her bottom lip. Jack deserved the truth, but she couldn’t tell him about Kara or the baby not when he looked so heartbroken in front of her. Jack was a good man. He was a caring one how could she do this to him? She’s done this Kara it wouldn’t be that unheard of. 

“My mother accepted you and I thought I needed to settle for you on that basis and it was wrong of me.” Lena admitted. “I’m so sorry.” 

Jack faced her teary eyed. He let out a dry chuckle and ran a hand down his beard. 

“This whole time…” Jack muttered. “You could have told me the truth. Instead you string me along? And now you make look like a complete fool think I could have a lif-have a good semester Lena.” 

Jack rushed out of the apartment. Lena didn’t expect to cry the second he left, but while she may have no loved him how he wanted he was still someone Lena cared for. She cleaned up the wine cups sniffling. 

***

Lena broke the news to Sam, but she knows that it wasn’t something worth celebrating. They spend the weekend eating ice cream, chocolate, and pizza over their favorite movies. She let’s Sam spend the night and she was there comforting Lena from her bad dreaming when she’s crying. Then they’re back in their classes when the weekend was over. Sam rather spend as much time as she can to help Lena. Then Kara texted her on Monday. She wanted to talk and Lena needed to have a few words with her too. There wouldn’t be a good time to have this. Lena arranged for Kara to come over after three when they’re both free from their classes. Lena was beyond nervous waiting for Kara to show up. She cleaned the kitchen twice and organized the living room while she waited to calm herself. The doorbell sounded and Lena rushed over to answer it. 

“Kara.” Lena sighed. “Please, come in.” 

She was a nervous wreck seeing Kara not smile or say a word when she entered. She took a seat in the living room and Kara frowned. Lena’s leg started tapping against the floor as she waited for Kara to speak. They felt like strangers sitting here and that was unsettling for Lena to experience this. They knew everything about each other and for a change neither of them knew what to say to each other. 

“I… I’ve been thinking about what you said.” Kara started. “And I can’t leave you like this. It’s my responsibility too.” 

Lena brushed a hand through her hair. Kara finally came to her, calmer and more level-headed and taking responsibility. Only she’s three and a half weeks late. 

“You don’t have to worry about it anymore.” Lena said. 

“Y-You…” Kara stuttered. Lena nodded. “We’re supposed to decide what to do together. You can’t just -- ”

“You wanted no part of this when I came to you.” Lena defended. “What else was I supposed to do? You seriously think I could raise a baby alone while in a college like Columia? Neither of us are ready for that type of responsibility.” 

Kara shook her head, dejected. Lena wasn’t expecting her to be this bothered when she had been so angry with her earlier. The idea of a baby must have started to sit with her having to take responsibility which she was willing to do. 

“You’re right.” Kara agreed. 

Kara sighed. A wave of relief washing through the room. They both weren’t ready for this, no matter how much Kara tried to mentally prepare herself. Kara looked at Lena, teary-eyed and frustrated. 

“I should have been there. You shouldn’t have gone alone.” Kara said. 

“Sam was with me.” Lena said.

Kara stood, nodding and trying to come to terms with their conversation. 

“Good. Good.” She muttered. “I should go.” 

Lena followed her to the door.

“Kara,” Lena called, causing her to turn around. “Did you want to… Raise a child with me?” 

It made sense. The amount of disappointment on Kara’s face. While she may have been made at Lena she still had feelings for her. Lena felt a flare of hope rip through her, but she didn’t impulsively grab Kara like she wanted to, eager for any sort of contact with her. Kara wiped her eyes and exhaled. 

“No, no, you’re right Lena. We’re not ready.” Kara said. 

“Kara, I need to speak with you.” Lena said. 

“Please, I can’t right now.” Kara said. “I-I need to process this.” 

Kara left, sniffling and trying to hold herself together. 

***

Coming clean to everyone should have made Lena feel better, but having to deal with hurting Jack and crushing Kara about news of her abortion Lena wasn’t feeling any better at all. Kara wasn’t returning her text or calls and it remained that way all through midterms. Lena was grateful in a sense that she could focus on her classes but she still worried about Kara. She waited a week after midterms before she drove down to Kara’s dorm. She couldn’t let this pick at her. She knocked a few times and waited before knocking a second time. There was noise from the other side of something heavy thumping to the floor and the door opened. Kara stood with her glasses off and her face tired, probably from the result of midterms. Kara’s hair was a mess and she rubbed her eyes before yawning. 

“What are you doing here?” Kara said. 

“Can we talk?” Lena asked. 

Kara wasn’t against it this time and let Lena in without a word. For a change, there isn’t anyone in the room like last time and Kara’s roommate was gone again. Kara took her desk chair and brought it to her bed and offered it to Lena. She took a seat and Kara picked up her glasses from her nightstand. 

“I-I want to start by saying I’m sorry.” Lena said. “I know what I said was wrong of me and I didn’t mean any of it.” 

Kara frowned.

“Then why turn me away?” Kara said. 

“I was scared. My mother wouldn’t agree with this.” Lena stated. “She knew we were together and threatened to deal with you if I didn’t end things. I didn’t want to, but I… I let her dictate everything in my life even the one thing I wanted the most.” 

Kara wiped a tear gliding down her cheek and sighed. The frustration she felt during their time together and the arguments finally beginning to settle. Lena looked absolutely heartbroken talking about. The struggle of admitting for once what she felt and what she wanted. 

“It was never Jack.” Lena stated. “I-I… I couldn’t accept that I was in love with you and I get that you wouldn’t want to deal with me and I should have consulted you about the abortion, but I don’t want to lie to myself or you anymore Kara.” 

Kara stood, studying Lena for a moment. She was on the verge of sobbing, completely worn down from the events of what happened since their return from Christmas. Kara was exhausted herself. The fear of losing Lena entire as a friend down to the possibility of becoming a parent was one huge emotional rollercoaster. 

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” Kara said. “I want to be serious with you Lena. I want to be with you, regardless of your mom. I love you Lena. I always have.” 

Kara dipped down and kissed her. Lena leaned forward, relishing the kiss and eager. She whimpered and cupped Kara’s face. They parted and Kara pulled her to her feet and held her. She rested her forehead against Lena’s. 

“Let’s do this right this time.” Kara whispered. 

Lena closed her eyes, resting in Kara’s arms Tears streaked down her face and Lena let out a cry of happiness. 

“I-I-” Lena stuttered.

“We’ll deal with your mother when it comes. Can I just be with you and enjoy it for now?” Kara said. 

Lena nodded and smiled. Kara kissed her. Kara cupped her neck and broke the kiss.

“I'm happiest with you.” Kara said. 

“I am too.” Lena admitted.

  
  



End file.
